Picture a room full of parents, grandparents, and care providers crowded in on a random Thursday evening in January. All have come together to learn or remember a skill. One that is vital to their everyday existence, but often overlooked and pushed to a corner… to a someday….
This was very much the scene at the Lamoille Family Center this week as many came together to remember the art of self-care. After basic introductions were made, facilitator Daniela Caserta, opened the night with a pitcher of water and some cups. She swirled food coloring in the water then poured some out in a cup. This cup represented us, the caregivers in the room. She then had multiple other cups showing daily demands on our lives. One of these cups represented a call from a teen who left their algebra book at home, but desperately needed it delivered to school. Another cup, a moved up deadline at work. As each need arose she poured out a little of the water from her cup into that cup. At the end Daniela was left with an empty cup. Nothing left for the next need to arise.
Daniela shared that when our caregiver cups are empty we lose the ability for intentional interactions and we become reactive when presented with a need. When we react we are much more likely to give a stressed response because we have nothing left.
Throughout the rest of the evening we learned that taking time for ourselves is not selfish, does not need to take up a lot of time, does not have to wait until all the chores are done, or cost money. There are little things that parents and caregivers can do to refill our cups. A ride to work can be a time of quietly being in your own head or singing out the lyrics loud and strong. Sitting in the car for a few minutes alone after dropping the kids off at school can align your day. The list goes one…enjoying your shower and the feel of water… coloring…reading… exercising… a nap, snuggling with a pet, taking a moment to enjoy the taste, smell, and feel of a piece of chocolate… talking to a loved one… or getting up a few minutes before the kids to have your cup of coffee or exercise in quiet are all good ways we can be present for a refilling moment.
The last exercise of the evening involved filling a jar with rocks (representing our big life priorities), marbles (those things we need to juggle support the bigger priorities), and small white pebbles (the everyday demands). Finally, everyone was given a small cup of fine black sand. We poured the sand over the items in our jar and it filled in the cracks and settled to the bottom – a very visible reminder that caring for ourselves provides a foundation for caring for others and can be done in the little moments of our lives. Think today how you can do something to take care of you as you take care of others!
